Lost

I'm feeling a little lost today.

I'm trying to clean my room, but I'm just wandering around aimlessly.

I haven't eaten much today either.

I made some scrambled eggs for breakfast, but only had 5 small bites, before I felt like I didn't want it anymore. I did have a protein shake, so at least that will keep me going.

I'm still very anxious that I'm doing it wrong... or I'm going to break something.

I posted on the Banding Together (they do VSG too) forum about my feelings and lots of people replied saying that I was doing everything right and not to worry. My body is still healing, and considering what was actually done to it, I'm very surprised I'm feeling this good.

I've started adding "real food" into my diet. I had some chicken last night. I cut it into small pieces and chewed the hell out of it... but that could be what is causing me not wanting to eat today... or maybe I'm thinking too much into it.

I can't wait to get back to work, but I'm honestly not looking forward to compliments. I hate getting compliments... weird I know, but I don't know how to deal with them. My low self esteem is in full force. I've been told to say Thanks and move on. Plus, I told everyone at work I was having Gall Bladder Surgery... and I regret it. I should of just told the truth. So I will need to deal with that when I get back to work... whether I announce the truth, or continue the lie. I feel like I need to tell the truth and who cares what people think. I actually want to promote the fact that I've had it done. I'm not ashamed of it, and I want to help promote it, it's a life saving operation for some, including me.

Yesterday I bought myself some makeup.

I have a bit of makeup already, which I hardly used, and is all past its used by dates. So I've thrown it all out and started again!

I love Nude by Nature. They make natural mineral makeup and it doesn't make my face break out!

They had a buy 3 for 2 sale, so I purchased

Natural Mineral Cover

Undercover Airbrush Mineral Primer

Liquid Mineral Foundation

I also bought Australis Eye Pencil in Brown

I'm usually a black eyeliner wearer... but I decided to try brown, it's not as harsh, I really like the result.

I also bought some Bio-Oil to help with my surgery scars and stretch marks. It smells so good!!

I guess I should get back to cleaning my room!

Thanks for listening to me :)

<3 Molly